Uh Oh

I got a phonecall from my Bigsis last night. Apparently our sis (who is a student) is in deep trouble.

let me give you some background information.

Sis has been and is in her final year at uni. During that time, she’s had mobile phone bills she couldn’t pay, rent she couldn’t pay, an overdraft she couldn’t pay and so far, every time, our hard working mother has paid these off for her with assurances that it would never happen again. She’s bailed her out of every financial mess she’s got herself into.

This is not because mum has money. She doesn’t, She’s worked hard all her life and for what? she has no nest egg, a large amount of debt and not exactly a luxurious lifestyle. She moved across the country for a job that pays only ok but it takes her nearer to her mum (my grandmother). She owns a flat but my kidsis’s boyfriend lives there on a peppercorn rent.

Mum herself could not afford the rent she paid on her old place so she’s moved in with own mother to care for her but also to reduce her rent burden. Mum is the most generous, selfless person I know and it hurts me to see my kidsis bleeding her dry (not maliciously, I don’t think there is any malice there, – just through carelessness).

Kidsis ran up such a debt on her own bank account and ignored the letters last year, so that when she went into the bank to withdraw money (the ATM refused to issue any) they cut the card up right in front of her, told her to pay it all back immediately and left, humiliated. Mum paid it off for her (£600) and they closed the account down. This left my kidsis with no bank account and nowhere to deposit any money. So mum gave her an ATM card for her own spare account. It’s just a small account she uses for things like repairs and things) this was to tide kidsis over until she opened her own account.

Well it’s been months and kidsis has been refusing to set foot in a bank and open her own account. I know it’s because of the public humiliation she felt last time, but then again, she’s got an ATM to mum’s account, where is the incentive to open her own?

So Bigsis phoned me last night to say that she and mum had been talking about how upset and depressed kid sis has been lately. She’s been snappy at mum and mum is upset at the snappiness but feeling helpless in the face of kidsis’s depression. A lot of stuff is going wrong at uni and it’s getting her down.

She asked Bigsis whether he had seen any bank statements for this small acount lying about at home (they get sent to mum’s place, although now it’s rented by kidsis’s boyfriend and Bigsis pays £50 a month to keep her things in the spare room there. Bigsis stays there about once a week and just keeps an eye on the place, really)

Well she couldn’t find any bank statements except one from early November. Mum (over the phone) asked her to open it and check the balance. Well it started at early October with £350 in credit and finished in early November at over £450 in debit. Places visited were House of Fraser, Boots, Next, Paypal. ONly five were from supermarkets. The rest were all non-essential stuff. We know Kidsis is an emotional shopper (bored, or depressed and she hits the shops) but we hadn’t realised the scale.

Mum was upset, told bigsis she couldn’t deal with it, not again. Bigsis assured her she and I would take care of it this time. Mum is most upset because kidsis had assured her that she would always check the balance before withdrawing money and would never let it go into overdraft. She promised.

So she was £450 overdrawn early November, Lord know how much it’s overdrawn now! Mum’s overdraft limit on that account is £750. I pray it’s not gone beyond that – but if kidsis has been hiding bank statements and has been too afraid to tell mum, then I think we can guess that it is. Oh lordy.

So Monday, sis and I will be sitting down with kidsis and sorting this mess out. There is not going to be any bailing out. Kidsis is going to have to pay this money back and going to have to come up with some sort of way of deal with her shopping addiction. She is a student FFS. When I was a student I used to agonise over whether I could afford posh bread this week! and certainly didn’t buy any new clothes.