burglars

Has anyone here been burgled? What’s worse tha being burgled? Confronting a burglar has to be, I reckon. Better to be out of the way when it was happening.

Last night, The Sous Chef went out for a drink with his pal and since I had an essay to write (it’s making me miserable. Really) I stayed at home to carry on procrastinating.

At about 11pm I heard a noise downstairs. I left my youtube video tutorial on making buttercream roses (these things are vital to research in depth when an essay is due) and shut down the computer and went toward the bedroom (which has a view of the stairs. Anyone coming up them would have to turn around to see you).

I figured it must The Sous Chef back from the pub downstairs so started to get ready for bed (I was half-planning to put pin curls in for the night, started to brush my hair, getting the pins ready).

“He’s taking a long time” I thought. I stood in the doorway looked along the landing and even though I was sure I’d left the hallway light on (there is a switch upstairs and a dimmer switch downstairs) for the Sous Chef, it was now off. Strange. I hit the switch again and nothing happened. Someone must have put the dimmer down to zero downstairs. I could hear movement down there. At first I thought it must be the The Sous Chef, but why was he staying down there so long? I wondered whether I was mistaken about the light and Iwas actually hearing noises from next door.

I strained to listen but the sounds of someone moving about where definitely in the house and I really was sure about the light.  It was ages and The Sous Chef would have come upstairs by now or seen the light on and said something. He usually gets in and comes straight upstairs or might have a glass of water from the tap but there was just movement downstairs and no attempt at water or stair climbing.

My heart in my mouth I looked around the room for a suitable weapon in case whoever was downstairs would come upstairs. Nothing. I wondered whether to stay absolutely quiet so as not to disturb the burglar or to make noise hoping the burglar would prefer to get away with loot than have a confrontation. I know that generally burglars would rather get out then get violent. I was hoping this was true this time. I wondered whether I could climb out of the window if I had to.

From the doorway I stood silent and had a good view of the stairs. I assumed any burglar would not venture upstairs and from the bedroom doorway I could see the stairs and potentially the back of the head of anyone coming up them, except the light was off,with just a bit streaming across the landing from the bedroom.

Then, my knees trembled as I was sure I could see a pale shape coming up the stairs and the back of someone’s head. After a few seconds I recognised The Sous Chef’s shirt and then his head turned round, he saw me and laughed.

I wasn’t laughing. I was so relieved I burst into tears. He’d really frightened me. He was (drunkenly) doing his ’stealthy ninja moves’ up the stairs. I have no idea why he thought that was a good idea. The bedroom lights had been on and curtains wide open when he got home so he should have known I was up.  If he thought I was asleep there was no need to turn the dimmer switch to zero downstairs and why was he taking so damn long to start climbing the stairs?  I had thought it was him at first but when the movement stayed confined to downstairs for so long I figured it couldn’t be him. He was very apologetic and expressed a heartfelt relief that this is not America and we don’t have guns in the house (not that I’d buy one if we could).

With hindsight I should have hidden under the bed. A burglar wouldn’t look there for any valuables and if it turned out to be the Sous Chef I could have frightened him back. Next time, next time…